MCOM #7: loving a place.

Today I woke up and reached for my phone {like usual. it's a bad habit}. I opened the New York Times and jolted up in bed, gasping "no. no no no. no." Because this morning I saw the article that announced the bombing of the St. Petersburg subway. My heart broke. It's an interesting thing that we can love a place so much that news from the other side of the world can break our hearts. I love Russia. I love that place and those people. And even though I've never been been to St. Petersburg, my heart aches for the Russian people. And my prayers are with them.

A little while ago, I came across this quote on pinterest:

It sounds incredibly dramatic, but I can say that it is completely true. First I left a little piece of my heart in England after a semester in London, and then in Russia after a year and a half long mission for my church. It's one thing to travel places, to be a tourist for a couple days, and then to leave. But living somewhere shows you a different side of a culture. I came to love the Russian people more than I can even explain. And the thing about Russia is this: people don't understand it. It's one of those places that people just can't really fathom. It one of those places that people don't really know until they live there. At first, Russians come off as being really closed-off. They don't smile. They don't laugh. They don't love. That's all I heard before I went there. But let me tell you, Russians are the best people I know. They are the most genuine people I've ever met. Aside from my family, I've never felt so loved and so accepted as I did sitting in the homes of dozens of Russians that I came to love. In my little bout of reminiscing, I found my last email home. I listed the top eight things I learned during my time there, and this was one:

"My understanding of the words "trust," "love," "friend," and "promise" have changed. I've said it again and again but I love the Russian people. They have taught me what it means to truly trust someone. The word love has, well, honestly, freaked me out my whole life. Because I know I love my family. And my close friends. But man. Loving anyone else, let alone a whole country full of people that don't speak your language and come from a very different walk of life than me... I didn't think that would be possible. But...you can't help but love these people. My favorite quote from last conference was "love is making room in your life for another person." They are the best example of this! Today I was a Tatiana's house for one last lunch, knitting, and lesson. And as we said goodbye, I realized how much I love that woman and how much she loves me! (once again with the corny-ness) But she's wonderful. Love and trust and all that stuff is great."

I love Russia, in case you didn't know.

oh, hey.

alright, I'm back {sort of}. I actually decided not to blog anymore, but then I was standing in the kitchen with my cousin Barb at our family reunion and she turned to me and said, out of the blue, "you have to keep up your blogging!" and a few weeks later, here I am.

almost every time I run into someone the conversation goes something like this:

them: "welcome home!"
me: "thank you!"
them: "how was it?"
me: "incredible"
them: "how is the adjustment?!"
me: *how the heck do I answer this????* "it's ok!"
them: "what are your future plans"
me: *silent freak out* "I'm going back to college soon!"
them: "what are you studying?!"
me: *more silent freaking out*
...and so on.

here you go, I'll be honest to the world... the adjustment has been pretty weird. at first it didn't even seem like an adjustment. I got home, spent time with my family, started working at the movie theater again, got back into running, and enjoyed a little more freedom in my schedule.

that lasted a couple weeks.

and then I really started missing it. it actually hit me like a brick wall. one night I was driving home with Zach and I just started sobbing {this is me being really honest, haha}. I remember judging RMs so much for wanting to talk about their missions or for saying they missed their missions or for talking to anyone that would understand them in their language mission. I formally apologize to all of you. it makes perfect sense. I loved my mission, I spent 18 months pouring my heart {not to mention every waking moment} into the work and the people, and then all of a sudden I woke up in a bed in America. now I can't just turn to the person next to me and tell them about why I'm happy {in Russian}, and that is actually surprisingly sad. I've spent a night or two just looking through pictures and feeling sad. but I also understand that missions end and life moves on. and it's actually a little exciting! It's also a strange feeling because the mission I left is very different than the one that is there now. here's an article about the new law in Russia. {my MTC companion and mission president are quoted in this!}.  but I think it will have a positive impact, actually. or so my friends there say!

long story short, there have been ups and downs. lots of them. but life is good!

but here I am! I've spent the last couple weeks falling back in love with Colorado, third-wheeling my parents, skyping lots of people, and figuring out what I'm going to do with my life. so, it's been a productive couple weeks, I would say.

we spent Pioneer Days with my mom's family, like usual, and it was just as great as I remember. so we spent a week or so there. and other than that, this summer has been pretty normal {ATTENTION: the word "normal" is my favorite word and english speakers need to start using it more often. WHY DO WE NOT USE THIS WORD??}

and so that's it. that's all I've got for you. I'm impressed I wrote this much & thanks for the inspiration Barb (:

дома {home}.

well, my friends. 18 months later and I'm home. I got back last friday night. If we're being honest here, I actually didn't think I would continue blogging once I got home, but I did a lot of thinking and decided that if I struggled to keep a journal on a mission, I doubt I was going to get better after a mission. So here I am.

My mission was incredible. I think part of my heart is still wandering around Russia without me. The people I met, the experiences I had, the things I learned... priceless. When I was being released my stake president asked me "if you could describe your mission briefly, what would you say?" That's a tough question. A really tough question. But I decided on "life-changing". Because that's what the last 18 months have been. And I'll be sticking to that.

It's been really nice to be home, but of course I miss my Russia. My family is the best and I came home to decorated signs and blown up balloons and 'welcome home' posters and... well, the whole works. It was fun to spend a couple of days with my nieces and nephews and have a couple days to relax. My parents recently moved so it was fun to come home to a new house!

Well, that's all I've got now. Of course this won't be the last post about my mission, but this is just a short and sweet little post saying I'm home and happy! я вас люблю!

see ya in 18!

I'm off! Tonight I get set apart as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and tomorrow I enter the Missionary Training Center (MTC). I love this gospel and I love my Savior Jesus Christ. I'm excited to learn everything I can and to love the Russian people and culture. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have over the next 18 months to devote my life, full-time, to this gospel. I know that the Book of Mormon is true more than anything else in my life. It goes hand-in-hand with the Bible to be the word of God on the Earth today. I know that this is the true church of Jesus Christ and I love it.

I'm so thankful for my family. I'm so thankful for my friends. I'm so thankful for this gospel and how it has changed my life. See you in 18 months!

And while I'm gone, I want to hear from YOU!

email: 
     erica{dot}decker{at}ldsmail{dot}net
***I'm allowed to email one day a week. I have limited time so I will be sending a mass email every week. If you would like to be on the list, let me know! Or if you just want to shoot me an email {DO IT} I'll reply! I will not have a missionary blog like many other missionaries due to mission rules for my safety and that of the members/investigators of the church in Russia.

address:

Dear Elder {january 2015 - mid-march 2015} They will print your letter and give it to me THAT DAY! And it's free.
     -> go to dearelder.com
     -> on the top of the page, choose "write a letter"
     -> in the letter selection, choose "Provo MTC", then "write a missionary"
     -> fill in your information
     -> then my name as "Sister Erica Decker"
     -> unit number "4", mission code "RUS-MOS", MTC departure date "Mar 17"
     -> then write a letter in the box and send it!

MTC {january 2015 - mid-march 2015}
     Sister Erica Michelle Decker
     Mar 17 RUS-MOS
     2005 N 900 E Unit 4
     Provo, UT 84602

Mission home - letters {mid-march 2015 - july 2016}
     Sister Erica Michelle Decker
     Russia Moscow Mission
     Muravskaya St
     Moscow
     Moscow 125310
     Russia

Mission home - packages {mid-march 2015 - july 2016}
     Sister Erica Michelle Decker
     Russia Moscow Mission
     Muravskaya St, 1 D, Floor 3
     Moscow
     Moscow 125310
     Russia
     phone: 7 499-424-0180 {this number has to be part of the address, too}

Oh, and as a going away present for me, you should get yourself a FREE Book of Mormon and read it! Then send me a letter and I'll be so happy I'll probably cry. Do it. It's my favorite book in the whole world. Oh, and also check out mormon.org. It's a cool place. And my mormon.org site!

called to serve: Moscow, Russia.

I don't even know how to start this post. I don't even really know how to talk about it in general. But you guys, I'm going on a mission!!

M O S C O W,  R U S S I A

reporting on January 14, 2015

I think I'm going to wake up tomorrow and this is all just going to be a dream. really though.

I am so blessed. I realized that as I was opening up my mission call: in the beautiful BYU London Centre sitting room, surrounded by my entire study abroad group {some of whom have become very close friends in a matter of days}, with my parents and all of my siblings, plus Cady on webchat. How could I ask for anything better?? How could I ask for a better support group than an amazing family and great friends like Cady??

I am so excited. RUSSIA. That was not what I was expecting, but as soon as I opened it, I was assured that's where I should go. If I'm being honest, I've been second guessing a mission. My missionary friends all told me I would. I got to London and realized how great it would be to go back to BYU. But I've {quite literally} fasted and constantly prayed to know that wherever I was called is going to be the place I need to be. And now I know it is. I'm terrified to learn another language {more specifically, Russian of all languages} and I'm terrified to be all the way across the world. But I'm also thrilled. My stake president promised me that there was someone, somewhere in the world that is being prepared and waiting to hear the gospel that I can teach them. and now I know that I will have the chance to do that in Moscow. But more importantly, I'm so ready for what I will learn. Starting on January 14th, I will put aside everything I know now, and completely turn my will to my loving Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. I will spend 100% of my time serving them. I will learn so much about this gospel and Jesus Christ. I'm serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In exactly 4 months. THIS IS REAL LIFE.

They're gonna call me on a mission!

Exactly one year ago I was spending my first week in the BYU dorms. I was living in a new state with a girl I had only met over webchat a couple times. I was officially a student at my dream university with a plan to double major in inter-disciplinary humanities and choral music education with a minor in history {I laugh about it now, too. Don't worry}. I was applying to spend a semester studying abroad in London for the fall of my sophomore year and I was going to graduate with my bachelors in 2017. If you would have told me that I was going to be turning in mission papers right now, I would have laughed and told you that there was absolutely no way I was going on a mission. I just didn't have the desire to go and I had prayed about it but it didn't feel right for me. It wasn't that I didn't want to share what I know, simply that 18 months is a lot of time in the life of a 19 year old girl with as many plans as me... plus I didn't know if I could handle eating weird food or never being allowed to sleep past 6:30 or biking all day in any kind of weather or having only a couple hours of free time for an entire year and a half. Missions are really hard work, you know?

Wow. A year changes things, doesn't it?

Today I'm packing up my life to move to London in less than 4 days {actually that's a lie... I haven't even started packing. but I should}. I'm hoping to major in Finance. Some of my favorite activities now include reading Preach my Gospel, reading Elder Holland's talk about "The Miracle of a Mission" {if you haven't heard it, GO READ IT}, continually adding to my "mission" Pinterest board, and reading weekly emails from the majority of my close friends who are scattered across the world as missionaries. It'll be two years until I'm at BYU again but I know, without a doubt, that I am supposed to serve a mission. I made this decision the very last Sunday at BYU and I've spent all summer going to doctors and dentists and oral surgeons and interviews with the bishop and stake president and now I can officially say that MY MISSION PAPERS ARE IN! In a few months I will be a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The missionary age change occurred the fall of my senior year. I was in Washington DC visiting Ryan and Tiffany so I hadn't watched the session of conference yet but I heard about it because every LDS person with a Facebook seemed to be live-posting the announcement. I thought "well that's cool... I still don't want to go on a mission and at least 50% of male BYU freshmen are now turning in their papers. great." And that was the end of that.

Once I got to BYU every single date I went on {this is not an exaggeration}, every person I met, and almost every conversation I had involved the question "are you going on a mission?" and the answer was no. I had absolutely no intentions of going on a mission and I didn't feel like that was Heavenly Father's plan for me. {If you're ever bored I'll explain my theory on why I didn't feel the need to go on a mission until after my freshmen year.}

Near the end of winter semester my Book of Mormon teacher said something that made me take a step back and decide to ask, one more time, if a mission was right for me. {backstory- my teacher was a mission president in Spain a few years ago} He told our class that, although he had lots of really awesome young men who served in his mission and were there for the right reasons, the young women were his favorite because they were on a mission ENTIRELY by choice. It wasn't a duty for them and it wasn't expected of them. They were there because they loved the Lord so much that they were 100% willing to give up thousands of dollars and 18 months of their lives just to serve Him. I said a quick prayer that night asking if I should go on a mission. Then finals came and I was stressed and tired and trying to live up my last week as a freshmen. I completely forgot about it.

The very last Sunday at BYU was Easter. We got ready for church like usual and showed up 30 seconds before it started {like usual} and out of breath {like usual}. The first speaker was Sam, a boy that I was pretty good friends with {thank you freshmen english, ha}. I can't remember what he said, but during his talk I got a very clear answer to my question. I spent the rest of Sacrament meeting crying because 1) I didn't like my plans being turned upside down 2) I, by no means, felt even semi-prepared to serve a mission 3) I had never felt such a strong prompting in my life.

Serving a mission is actually the hardest decision I've made. I'm a goal-oriented person who likes to have every aspect of my life planned out and by the middle of my freshmen year, I had everything perfectly figured out. I was going to London this fall then I would take 17 credits of finance prerequisites winter semester {I may have died in the HBLL studying for all those classes... oh goodness would that have been awful}. I'd apply for the program in June and start my junior core the following fall. I had toured housing with Cady and we'd found the perfect place for us. And life was going to be fantastic.

Well, none of that plan is happening. I'm deciding to live the motto "it feels good to be lost in the right direction". It really does. I'm not sure when I'll leave on my mission so I don't know when I'll get home. I don't know where or who I'll live with my sophomore year. I may change my mind about what I want to study. I may be in Africa or Idaho in a year, for all I know. But one thing is for sure: I can not wait to see what God has in store for me over the next couple years. Heavenly Father knows more about me than I do. I've realized that my life is still going to work out how it should, even if it's not how I've planned it. Just because I'm putting my life on hold for a year and a half doesn't mean I won't get into the finance program or meet an amazing priesthood holder or enjoy my last couple of years at BYU. All of that is going to happen {I sure hope...} it's just happening a little bit later. I'm grateful for the chance I'll have to be a representative of Jesus Christ and teach the gospel for a year and a half. I'm so thankful for my family and friends who have been so supportive {and also laughed a little since I was super against a mission not too long ago... I'm talking to you Lori!! ;) }

The restored gospel of Jesus Christ is on the Earth today. I know that He loves me more than I can possibly imagine & that God's timing is more perfect than my own, and I know that this is what I am supposed to be doing in my life.

My mission papers are in & a call is coming my way soon.

Life is good!

Next stop: London.

-Erica

interesting links:

- Along with the Holy Bible, I will be teaching about The Book of Mormon. Get a free copy here!
- what is an LDS missionary?
- all the different missions I could be called to!
- this is a cool perspective of being a missionary from an elder in the field
- Mormon Newsroom video about what a missionary does

source